Cats, Theatre, and Other Things

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

metlocked:

whosbeendrawingdicks.mp3

screecherowl:

margygur:

margygur:

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY CAT ALLL DAY AND AFrer WALKING OUT LOOKING FOR HER I SEE HER IN THE NEIGHBOURS WINDOW ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS ARE LOCKED AND THEY ARE ON HILIDAY HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUC K

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imageTHAT IS MY CAT AND THAT IS NOT MY HOSUE 

I guess this would be a good time to become a cat burglar 

ultrafacts:

michaelsousa:

ultrafacts:

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me too probably Roald Dahl, me too

Fun fact: The almost final words of writer Roald Dahl, were “You know, I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much” to his family. After appearing to fall unconscious the nurse then injected him with morphine to ease his passing and he said his actual last words: “Ow, fuck!”

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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divinedorothy:

trying to think of unproblematic celebrities u like and you’re just sat there with a virtually empty piece of paper - you’ve written laverne cox down three times

allisonscrown:

"where’s my christian grey????” hopefully locked up in prison

do you dare me?
an ancient proverb meaning “I want to do this ridiculous thing that is likely to have bad consequences but if it goes badly I want to be able to blame literally anybody else but myself and frankly you’ll do” (via dajo42)